Why all that’s needed is a venue to air grievances!
Our tendency to be fixers is one of the most debilitating aspects of growing up with a history of childhood traumas. When it comes to forming connections with people, “being a fixer” might be a burden, but it’s also a need when it comes to maturity.
I used to communicate by providing solutions, but now I question whether you need a listening ear or a solution.
Not every issue requires a fix; sometimes, all that’s needed is a venue to air grievances.
When it comes to finding solutions, I’m still a big believer in the power of positive thinking. So instead of advising my friends without their permission, I’ve replaced it with the following three things:
- Paying attention: To improve my listening skills, I spend time with my friends, listening to what they say and then utilising humour to lighten things up.
- I’m eager to learn more: Asking for a different point of view can be just what they need. I’m learning how to ask questions that inspire people to open up and reveal a new viewpoint that they hadn’t previously considered.
- Only quality time: I’m busy, and I’m sure you are too. Despite our regular routines, I’ve never been the greatest at small chat or flirting; instead, most of my discussions wind up being more profound and philosophical, which I embrace and love. It’s hard to do this in a 5-minute conversation; therefore, I prefer to schedule a two-hour or more date with the people who truly matter on a specific evening.
We all despise individuals who blame others for their problems and complain is not a clever tactic, but sometimes people who love you need your two ears, which comforts them.
Lately, I’ve added a few new words to my lexicon, including:
Is this something you’d want to hear my opinion on?
This is your chance to spit it all out; I’ll be listening.
But, of course, the following is only my own opinion, and as such, it should not be taken as truth.
Do you have any other knowledge for me?
What’s been going on in your life lately?
To be a good friend that others can depend on, you have to become better at being who you are.
This portion appeared in my newsletter : https://www.getrevue.co/profile/TheWisdomous
