The Ethereal Love: A Reflection on Charles Bukowski's Poetic Sentiment

Ivan Nyagatare
2 min readOct 2, 2023

I read Charles Bukowski today—if I can’t drink like him, I might as well write like him.

Because of its complexity and pervasiveness in human experience, love has fascinated philosophers, poets, and artists throughout history.

One of the most famous poets of the twentieth century, Charles Bukowski, offers a novel take on romantic attachment when he says, "I loved you like a man loves a woman he never touches, only writes to, keeps little photographs of."

Let me share a few of my thoughts on Bukowski's illustrative depiction of love and dive into the depths of its significance.

The Absence of Physicality
Bukowski's quote encapsulates a love that goes beyond the confines of physical touch. It represents a love deep-rooted in individuals' minds and hearts, transcending the boundaries of our physical world.

Bukowski portrays an ethereal, cerebral love focused on emotional connections rather than physical reality by emphasizing the concept of not touching.

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Love in the Written Word
The phrase "only writes to" suggests the significance of communication in this form of love. Love becomes a dialogue expressed through written words, replacing the need for physical contact.

In this love, the pen becomes an instrument of connection, allowing individuals to pour their emotions, desires, and thoughts onto paper.

It symbolizes a love that thrives on the power of written expression, conveying the depth of affection that transcends physical limitations.

Remnants of Love
Bukowski's mention of keeping little photographs highlights the cherished memories and moments captured in time.

These photographs are tangible reminders of a cherished connection, preserving the essence of the relationship. While unable to physically touch the person, the pictures evoke emotions, sentiments, and nostalgia, keeping the love alive even in their absence.

Bukowski's metaphorical portrayal reveals the complexity of love. It calls into question the widely held belief that love necessitates physical contact.

On the other hand, Bukowski says that love may develop via other forms of communication, such as writing and reminiscing through images.

This metaphor asks us to consider how love may emerge and be experienced outside the physical sphere.

Maybe I relate to the quote a lot because of my long-distance relationship, and this is something that hits close to home—perhaps!

Bukowski illuminates another side of love. It shows love that thrives in feelings, words, and memories. Bukowski challenges us to rethink love and its many manifestations.

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Ivan Nyagatare
Ivan Nyagatare

Written by Ivan Nyagatare

I am a writer, educator, creator and entrepreneur. Focused on creating tech tools, content, books and courses to help you develop better perspectives.

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