How to Trust: A Guide to Transparency and Honesty!

A few days ago, a new friend offered me some unexpected wisdom: “Transparency is telling people what will happen. Honesty is telling them what has already been done.”

It was one of those observations that seemed, at first, so straightforward that I could have dismissed it, but then it was 1 AM, and somehow everything was deep then. The more I reflected on it, the more I realised the layers of depth it held — and how often we confuse the two in life.

This distinction, subtle yet meaningful, lingered in my mind. We live in a world that prizes both transparency and honesty. Politicians promise transparency in government affairs, and partners in relationships are urged to be honest. Yet how often do these qualities get tangled, as if they mean the same thing?

My friend’s insight reminded me that while they complement one another, they aren’t interchangeable. Each plays a distinct role in navigating trust and communication with others and ourselves.

Transparency feels like a promise. It has to do with what lies ahead, with intentions and expectations. To be transparent means to lay your cards on the table before the game even begins, inviting people to see what you plan to do and how you’re going to do it.

In relationships, this might look like saying, “Hey, I’ll be working late all week, just so you know.” It’s a kind of preemptive clarity — a commitment to not letting others guess what’s happening behind the scenes.