Death and suppressing our emotions!
The last week has been difficult for the family, as Grandpa passed away, and I had to fly to the northern part of the country to be with the family. I felt very sad today, which is awful for how I spend my Thursdays.
Today was the funeral, and since I couldn’t go, I watched it live on YouTube.
It breaks your heart to see people you care about take the pain and be strong because they have no choice.
We never get used to death, and the pain lives with us, but having met Grandpa, I know he lived fully. Mark Twain said, “The fear of death comes from the fear of life. A man who lives his life to the fullest is ready to die anytime.”
Death is a part of everyone’s life and path, yet it is difficult to accept. The emotional suffering that follows the death of a loved one is frequently insurmountable. A range of feelings, from sadness and anger to guilt and uncertainty, make up grief, a normal reaction to an adverse experience.
How one grieves depends on their circumstances, including the nature of their relationship with the departed and how they choose to deal with their loss.
Grandpa used to refer to me as “Prince,” a name he picked up when he visited my high school and learned that I was Mr. SOS. I had won a beauty pageant as the most handsome boy there, and the benefits included being an honorary member of the student council and not having to do any cleaning around the school.
Grandpa used to make fun of that moniker and would inquire, “How is Prince doing?” but he also supported me in paying my school fees. Thinking about those simple moments made me cry today.
Many different methods exist for people to feel the pain of dying. It could persist as a constant discomfort that flares up in waves on special occasions or after distressing experiences.
This can lead to a long-lasting sensation of loss, emptiness, and loneliness. We are forced to acknowledge the brevity of life and our own mortality as the anguish of passing tests our capacity for emotional endurance.
“The pain started years ago, but I’d lived with it for so long at that point that I’d accepted it as an inevitable part of me.” — Ashley D. Wallis
In my situation, I had a test of my emotional fortitude and began to reflect on how fragile life is and how depressing it all is.
On suppressing feelings
Even though emotional pain is painful, trying to hide or ignore our feelings can have long-term effects. Society often tells us to “be strong” or “move on” quickly, which creates an environment where showing sadness is seen as a sign of weakness. Because of this, people may feel they have to hide their feelings because they think it’s the only way to cope and live up to society’s expectations.
I did that; I tried not to worry too much about it and simply concentrated on my work and helping. Again, what we think of as strength may be a façade, and we may choose to act as though everything is well. It is never simple to understand how to grieve and how to help people who are suffering. I am a distant relative, so how I put myself up to help the deceased’s loved ones was what stuck in my mind.
When we don’t deal with our feelings, they build up inside us and make us feel heavy. This emotional baggage can manifest as chronic worry, anxiety, sadness, and even physical problems. By not giving ourselves a chance to recognize and deal with our pain, we unintentionally lengthen our suffering and make it harder to get better and grow.
On dealing with feelings
Our well-being depends on our ability to identify and express our feelings. It permits us to respect our past and embrace the complexity of our feelings. By allowing ourselves to grieve, to feel anger, sadness, or any other emotion that naturally arises, we create space for healing and self-discovery.
Effective expression of emotion can take many forms, each appropriate in its own way.
“My feelings are too loud for words and too shy for the world.”
— Dejan Stojanovic
It might be talking to a trusted friend or family member, seeking counselling, learning to meditate or journal, or expressing yourself creatively.
By letting ourselves experience and express our true feelings, we can better deal with the anguish of loss and other emotional obstacles.
It was helpful for me to write this and then share it with a friend. Sharing it with someone else to receive emotional support was the greatest thing I could have done much sooner.
As much as we try to hide it, emotional anguish is an inevitable aspect of being human. The deep influence of death’s agony on our lives demands honest recognition and constructive processing.
The same is true for our mental and emotional health when we refuse to acknowledge and express our feelings. Resilience, growth, and healing can be encouraged by allowing ourselves to feel and express various emotions.
If we want to be resilient in the face of life’s unavoidable emotional obstacles, including loss and sadness, we must face them head-on rather than try to bury them.
