Being Chosen Isn’t the Same as Being Cherished

“We accept the love we think we deserve.” — Stephen Chbosky

We all want to be chosen.

To be picked, pursued, and held close. We want someone to see us through the noise and chaos of life and say, ‘You.’ I choose you. It feels affirming. It feels safe. It feels like arrival like we’ve finally made it to some promised land of belonging.

But being chosen isn’t the same as being cherished.

And that difference? It changes everything.

Because sometimes, we settle for being chosen by people who don’t know how to stay. By people who are drawn to our light but don’t know how to tend the flame.

People who fall in love with the idea of us, the Instagram version of us, the carefully curated self that fits neatly into their narrative but who flinch at the rawness of our full humanity.

“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.” — Eden Ahbez.

We confuse attention for intimacy. We confuse pursuit for devotion. We confuse being wanted with being known.

Choosing someone is not a one-time declaration.

It’s a choice you make again and again, especially when it’s hard, when it’s…